WILL WORK FOR FOOD
So I first would like to apologize for not updating my post for such a long time. I know that 5 months really is unacceptable, so again, my apologies to all the avid bloggers out there and if you have given up on me - I understand!!! However, I thought I would let you in on how I am feeling in this season of my life. The title says it all... will work for food. You see, life in general for me really isn't so bad. I have had the opportunity to travel with my husband and his family and since Spain we have been to the Carribbean, Nashville Tennesee and last but not least Seattle. Even though these have been awesome, incredible times, now that we are back at home and now that I am still only working part-time from home with my husband in the ministry... the realization has come that I may really need to get another part-time job to make ends meet. Sigh, so here I am, once again searching the newspapers, looking on line and waiting to get call backs from different places. Just a little side note of venting here... why is it that employers refuse to call a potential employee back...I mean really is it that hard to return a call and say hi - you are not qualified - or hi - the position has been filled or hi - you are overqualified - it is just really a principle of respect you know? From one human being to another, one should take the time to call another back to show that they are worthy of a response. So again I say will work for food.
It has been a strange journey for me the whole realm of work - I have my degree in Social Work - a degree that I am very happy that I have, yet have come to the realization that I do not want to be a Social Worker. Slight dilemma. So alas I have come to the conclusion - a conclusion that really should have been my first thought, that God is in control. The doors have not opened in certain areas because He did not want them to be opened. I must remind myself that He is the provider and even if this is a season where I am being tested and stretched and tested and then stretched some more, He will not leave me, He will not forsake me and He will guide me to the right job for this season.
So, perhaps this is not the most upbeat blog that I have written, but this where I am at! Thanks all for listening and letting me vent!
The Mediterranean Sea
Hello Everyone! Well it has only been about 3 months since my last post - not bad at all!! Since my last post a few things have happened in my life - - We took a trip to the island of Mallorca, Spain in October where Richard's brother was married to a beautiful Spanish gal named Damaris - it was a fantastic wedding and was a truly beautiful place. The world is such a huge place and I find myself longing to see more and more of it! I never used to be that interested in traveling, I enjoy being home and love Sidney, however the more I step out and travel - the more I realize how meeting new people, seeing new places and just being engulfed in another culture is such an amazing thing! More please:):)
I also feel that personally I am in a time of transition - I have transitioned jobs from working in a retirement residence to now working with Richard's parents in the Ministry. I still am not 100% sure of where I fit in the whole realm of things however I believe that things will be defined more clearly very very soon...I will keep ya'll posted - it may take me another 3 months but hey, better late than never! Anyhoos, enjoy some of these pictures that I am posted from our trip to Spain - I can't wait to go back! Luego friends!
The Father's Love
As most people may already know, Richard and I took our vacation time and flew to Scotland for a retreat at a very special place called Blairmore House. It is located about 10 minutes outside of Huntly in a small community called Glass in the Highlands of Scotland. This time holds a very special place in my heart because it is here that I have felt so fully the Father's Love.
As humans, it is so hard to fathom what God is like ~ to actually feel his love and experience all that He has to offer. We tend to view God in relation to our earthly fathers. Some of us have had wonderful loving fathers and others have had painful experiences filled with fear and even hatred. If you were to imagine a type of loving father ~ one that would hold you and encourage you and spend quality time with you when you were little...now multiply that by 100 %, no actually 200%, I think even 300%...ok perhaps even an upteenth percentage and that is how much our Heavenly Father actually loves us. His love is one that asks us just to BE. I never realized this until my time in Scotland. I also had that feeling - no that push to strive, to do, to be a certain way and only then would I be "whole" enough or "clean" enough to be in His Holy prensence. Yet I always had this empty feeling inside ~ that no matter how hard I strived to be "the best" - by getting a degree - an honors degree no less... but this sits in a frame on my wall and it does nothing to FILL me. How awesome a revelation for me to realize that the Father just wants me to spend time with Him ~ it is not about reading 5 books of the bible a day or 100 devotions a week - it is about taking the time to say "Father, I love you and I want to spend time with you today, I am here just to listen to you and be open to your love". THAT IS ALL THAT IT TAKES.
His love is so grand that nothing you can do can take His love away. A very special man of God that I met in Scotland heard the Lord say to him one day ~ "I have not called you to do - But I have called you to be. It is out of being that you can then begin to do". And it is when we cease trying that we can begin trusting. Ahhhh....just resting in this truth begins to fill that empty part of me that was hopelessly trying to win the Father's love.
A Work in Progress
So here I am again! I am trying to remind myself that this is good for me - to write things down - it can be therapeutic, and then I remember that the whole world can read it and break out into a cold sweat...ok, maybe this isn't that bad!
My thought for today:
I need to stop bitting my nails.There maybe now that I have put it into writing, I have made this committment to stop bitting my nails! I think I am just a really anxious person and lately I am just feeling really overwhelmed with the
unknown. I have come to accept that I cannot know everything nor control everything - but I still have the urge to try! I know that the Lord says -
do not be anxious about anything, but I still have such a hard time with that concept! I just feel like if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, the whole world will come to a halt and i may lose friends, my job, people's respect. Will people still like me if I don't know everything or don't seem like I am in control? I think I am a work in progress - - I definately need some refining and pruning so to speak, but sometimes I feel at a loss for how to go about feeling...normal....happy.....carefree....excited...again. I feel that I need to go deeper - I need to get to know myself a bit better, then perhaps I will feel comfortable with who I am. Maybe I need to take myself on a date.....
A little bit of here and there
So - - I have now entered the wonderful world of blogging. I must say that I feel a little awkward writing my thoughts for the world to read - but I have no doubt fallen victim to peer pressure and alas - here I am.
So you are wondering - who is this girl who is somewhere between here and there, well I am wondering the same thing! I am a girl who loves the Lord - - who is passionate about helping people and seeing people happy and fulfilled. I am also a girl who is discovering who she really is and being able to come to a point where I am comfortable in my own skin and can cease to constantly people-please.... see, I told you! I am definately somewhere between here and there.
So, please stay tuned readers for deep deep thoughts of moi here at Tanouki Central and please feel free to post your thoughts and comments to spark some good ol' fashion conversation!
Peace out....
