A Work in Progress
So here I am again! I am trying to remind myself that this is good for me - to write things down - it can be therapeutic, and then I remember that the whole world can read it and break out into a cold sweat...ok, maybe this isn't that bad!My thought for today:
I need to stop bitting my nails.
There maybe now that I have put it into writing, I have made this committment to stop bitting my nails! I think I am just a really anxious person and lately I am just feeling really overwhelmed with the unknown. I have come to accept that I cannot know everything nor control everything - but I still have the urge to try! I know that the Lord says - do not be anxious about anything, but I still have such a hard time with that concept! I just feel like if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, the whole world will come to a halt and i may lose friends, my job, people's respect. Will people still like me if I don't know everything or don't seem like I am in control? I think I am a work in progress - - I definately need some refining and pruning so to speak, but sometimes I feel at a loss for how to go about feeling...normal....happy.....carefree....excited...again. I feel that I need to go deeper - I need to get to know myself a bit better, then perhaps I will feel comfortable with who I am. Maybe I need to take myself on a date.....
posted by Anna @ 8:54 PM
6 Comments:
Hello dear Anna! O.k, I will be holding you to your committment there! :) Overcoming feelings of anxiousness is something, that I've learned, can not happen overnight. It is something that needs to be daily given to God and to be fought, as well. That is not an easy thing to do. I think that the more you grow in God and draw closer to Him, the more you will really see who He's created you to be. And from there you will be more at ease with who you really are and not just be at ease, but be free and love it!
I know for a fact that there are people who LOVE you and admire, respect and look up to you dear Anna, and that no matter how much you feel like you may be 'failing', it doesn't and wouldn't matter. You are loved and liked by many!!!!!
Remember our upcoming 'event' right?:)
Love ya!
I agree with what Jaime said, about it taking time, I struggle with anxiety as you have undoubtedly noticed! Through prayer and oh yes, medication :O, I am feeling more myself and less overwhelmed. It is a daily and even minutely thing some days. Be assured that we love you and there is nothing you could say that would make us go away, you are human, and you are our friend, we are going to stick around no matter what comes out of your head. I am honored when people allow themselves to be real and raw, and even if I don't agree with things sometimes it's more important to me that people share their hearts. Feel free to barf out whatever is in your head, if the whole world reads your blog, the whole world is better for it.
I agree with Lisa -- barf with abandon, just don't be surprised when you get a reaction out of some people that you, er, didn't expect? Its okay, though, because this is YOUR blog, and you can say what you want.
Its an interesting thing about friendship, though - we really shouldn't have to worry about censoring ourselves overly around those who really know us, as part of being friends with someone is acknowledging, accepting and automatically/perpetually forgiving them for their various foibles.
So, as I say, barf away!
OK...
Officially a non-blogger...
I'm "Speaking the truth in love"... Keep writing it will help your nails grow!
LOL
;)
Anna sweet heart... You are super amazing! I think we all wrestle with that question at some point in our lives: If they really knew this about me, would they still care?
One thing I appreciate about school life is that I'm constantly surrounded by a hundred other people's humaness and it reminds me that it's ok... I'm not alone in my psycho, emotional, crazy ways... I share my tendencies with at least 100 other people :)
You are not alone in your weakness, and scripture tells us that in our weakness Christ is made strong!!!
I can appreciate the apprehension that you feel about life, right now my life is complete turmoil; I senced it the last time that i was home but now it's for real... I'm moving (as richard has probably already told you) to Regina on May 17th - talk about anxiety.
Just keep pressing forward my friend and now that you are not alone and that in your weakness and quirkiness your friends love you and don't expect you to have it all together!! (Cause guess what, we totally don't have it all together either!!)
Love ya
Kimmer
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